The Adventures of Severus Snape in Wonderland
by DemonsLullaby
Summary: Sanpe falls down the rabbit hole, and all hell breaks lose! Whats going to happen in Wonderland? And why does Harry have bunny ears? Rated M for later chapters.
1. What has the World Come to?

Hey Ya'll! Been awhile, I know.....sorry bout that, ran out of ideas! :)

Hope ya'll like this one! My 1st Chapter story ;) Enjoy..and remember to review!

I dont own Harry Potter! Though I would gladly take Sev if Mrs. Rowling doesnt want him!

Severus set down his book. What a week it had been, what, with first and second years blowing up rat intestines, the third and fourth years having to be sent to the hospital wing so the matron could administer the reduction antidote for the boil potion they were studying, and the fifth year class the held Harry Potter--Need he say anymore? Apparently, on the notion that he was above the rules, he had decided to throw a jar of stupefied doxies into Draco's swelling solution. Needless to say, the doxies woke up, and about 100 engorged doxies flashed around the room, and managed to sting about 15 of his students before he got the class out of the room. And that meant----another trip to the now almost painfully familiar hospital wing.

Like he said--what a week.

He allowed himself a dark chuckle as he remembered Finch was probably still cleaning up his classroom. Still chuckling, he gathered up his book and left his quarters, with the intention of taking a walk around the lake.

Now the good thing about being Severus Snape was that the insufferable brats' seemed to melt into the wall when they saw him striding down the halls. And, as he walked toward the entrance hall, the normally crowded hallway full of students, heading to their last class of the day, melted until there was a clear walkway strait to the front doors. Man, he loved being Severus Snape.

A small breeze of Autumn air assaulted his face as he walk out onto the ground. He hated wind. Closing the door, he walked toward his favorite place by the lake.

It was a small alcove, hidden by the colorful myrtle trees that surrounded it. It sat right on the lake's edge, so he had the most amazing view of the lazy waves that nipped all around the edges of the lake. And, every once and a while, the giant squid would come up to the shallows, ad keep him company. Yes, his special spot that no one else knew of. As he rounded the corner of the furthermost tree, he stopped dead in his tracts.

There, in his special spot, sat the bane of his existence----Harry Potter.

Well, he was one of the hopefully only two that knew of this place. This week was getting better and better....note the sarcasm.

"Well, well, well, Mr. Potter. Again ruining another one of the few good days I have....." Severus spat venomously at the balled up teen.

Harry looked up into Severus's onyx eyes, and the older man knew something was wrong.

Tears were rolling from the emerald eyes, and falling like little drops of rain on the gray shirt, leaving those dark circles pronounced darkly on his chest. "Look who's talking, professor, always walking around like an overgrown bat, waiting to swoop in and deduct points." The boy sneered back, turning his head toward the lake, and pulling his knees to his chest.

Severus realized what was wrong...it had been about a month since the fallout at the ministry of magic, where Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, had died. He wished he hadn't said anything to the boy, or even come out onto the grounds at all. Still, the little brat wouldn't get away from a comment like that. "Overgrown Bat" indeed. Just as he was going to retort in his usual sarcastic manner, the boy stood up, grabbed his schoolbag, and stalked toward the castle, stopping mid-way.

Turning to Severus, he said "Just because you think no one cares, it doesn't mean it's true. The world works in mysterious ways, remember that professor." He turned in the spot and walked toward the castle once more.

Severus stood rooted to the spot. "Mysterious ways?" What the hell was that supposed to mean?! "People that cared about him?" Don't make him laugh, no one cared for him. After a few more spared moments of thought, Severus decided it was a lost cause. He sat down, opened his book, and started to read.

1st chapters all always short.... ;)


	2. Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter 2

It was near sunset when he opened his eyes and looked toward the sky. He must have fallen asleep. Wiping the grogginess out of his eyes, he slowly rose to his feet. Stretching his arms toward the sky, he stifled a yawn. He started his trek back to the castle, hoping it wasn't locked. As he approached the doors, a movement caught his eye. He turned in time to see a pair of violent emerald eyes and a swish of black ears run around the bush. He followed the strange.....thing.

After about an hour of chasing an unknown "thing" through the forbidden forest, he watched as it went through to trees, and didn't come out the other side. Curious, Severus moved near the trees, and looked down to find a hole, just big enough to fit a human body through.

With a whispered _"Lumos!"_ he shone his wand light down the hole, which seemed to go downward for miles. As he leaned forward to see further down, an invisible hand seemed to press against the small of his back. And with a yelp, Severus Snape fell through the "rabbit hole".

He fell through each of the four seasons, feeling the blast of ice-cold wind, the feel of snow falling lightly on his face, the beauty of the colors of Autumn, leaves of red, gold, brown, and orange, falling from a nonexistent sky. He felt the rain of a new spring; saw the flowers spring from the ground as the rain fell to their petals, like a gentle caresses. He felt the unbearable heat of summer, smelt the ocean's salt-filled breezes, felt sand appear from nowhere and run slowly through his fingers.

He fell through junkyards of discarded treasures, all special in their own way. Broken teapots, spitting stem. Wands of all different woods and cores, shapes and sizes. Bent, curved, strait, jagged. Wands of oak, cherry, holly, and hawthorn. Cores of phoenix feather, unicorn tail hair, dragon heartstring, and threstral hair. There were books about anything, and everything. Tables set for tea parties, pots magically pouring tea into different colored cups. Picture frames and framed artwork hanging on invisible walls, chairs and tables set around, as if decorating a living room. And just as he was starting to enjoy these wondrous sights as he fell, he.......

He landed, right onto a cold, tiled floor.

And, as if to shame himself more, he landed, unceremoniously, in an undignified heap.

Well, this was starting to get annoying. Really annoying. Real quick.

Pulling himself out of his undignified heap, he stretched his arms, then pinning them to massage his lower back. Honestly, he was too old for this. Looking around the room, which was abnormally bare, as there was only a table, with a vial of some unknown potion, and a door barely big enough for a mouse to fit through. He walked to the table, which was miniscule compared to the size of his freakishly large hand. Looking down, he saw that, to his surprise, the whole room seemed to be barley big enough to withhold his height. What happened to the endless tunnel from which he fell? And why had he failed to notice that he had...had grown into a giant?

Or, as Harry would put it, a giant, overgrown bat. Wait, when did he start calling the boy Harry?

Never mind that, he just saw that rabbit thing, which looked a lot like......Harry. No mistaking Lily's beautiful green eyes, or the stupid stag's unruly jet black hair. And Harry's own feature, his sun kissed tan. And his slim feminine body, and his...wait, what!?

He was not supposed to think about Harry like that. Never. Wait, did he just call him Harry again? No, no, no!!!! He put his hands on either side of his head, grabbed his hair, and shook his wildly, his eyes scrunched up in intense concentration, trying to get the thoughts out of his head.

Now, to focus on the problem at hand...What happened to the Harry-rabbit? He peered around the room, and jumped when the door in front of him snapped shut. He got down on his knees, and peered through the key hole. There he was, looking back at him, a smirk playing on his perfect features. So this was a cat-and-mouse game, was it? He had to get through that door....what was he going to do? Then he remembered----the crystalline potion vial. Gently grabbing the fragile vial, he squinted to read the tiny tag attached to the ruby encrusted stopper.

_"In this vial you will find, a potion that is most divine. With the power to make things small, be careful though, don't drink it all."_

Sounds easy enough. "Don't drink it all." The only problem was.......half of the vial was gone.....stupid bunny-boy.

So, trying as best he could, he poured a small drop of the citrus tasting liquid on his tongue. All of a sudden, he felt his body barreling toward the ground, and, yet again, he landed in an undignified heap. "Really?" Severus asked no one in particular. Sighing, he turned toward the small wooden door, and started to walk.

When he reached the door, he grabbed the door's handle, twisted, and was greeted with a loud yelp of pain. Jumping backwards in fright, he lowered his head to the doorknob. It was ornately carved with designs that looked just like eyes and a mouth. Both designs were moving, stirring to life. It was then he realized that it was the door from which the grunt had originated. Then the doorknob spoke.

"'Ey! Watch were you're grabbin'! I'll 'ave you kno', I 'ave a very sensitive nose."

Severus blanched. Did the doorknob just talk to him? He answered," So sorry, but I hadn't really planned on meeting a talking doorknob, for I was under the impression that their lips remained locked." sarcastically. He continued, "And I would like to get through your door, if you wouldn't mind."

"No"

Severus narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'No'?"

"I won't."

"You won't let me through."

"That's right."

This was starting to get annoying. Who was this door, to not let Severus through the door? He spoke to the door again. "The reason for this refusal of entrance is......?

The door looked at him. "Because I can't."

Severus lost it. He grabbed the doorknob by its nose and twisted as hard as he could. "And why can't you?!" He has really annoyed now.

"Ow, ow, ow! I can't because I'm locked!!!" It screamed through its keyhole, voice plugged because of the hold Severus had on his nose.

Severus let go, and asked, in what he hoped was a calmed voice, "Where is the key?"

The doorknob looked at him as if he was retarded. "It was on the table. Right next to the potion, didn't you see it?"

He turned and looked up through the glass of the table. There, on the edge of the table, sat the brass key, the shine almost taunting him because he could not reach it. He turned back to the door. "And how am I supposed to reach it?" He sneered.

"Duh." the knob answered. "Look at the foot of the table. There's a box."

Sure enough, when he turned around, there was a little box waiting at the foot of the table. How did these things keep popping up out of nowhere? First the key, now the box, and what was in the box in the first place? Turning his attention toward the box, he walked over and picked it up.

Another little tag was hanging of the side. It read:

_"In this box what awaits...will make this whole room quake. Take one cookie, and be warned, one bite will suffice, no more."_

Again with the riddles....but what did this one mean? Upon opening the box, he saw......

Cookies.

Not just regular cookies, either. They were either pink or purple, shaped like bunnies and rainbow.

And coated in sugar. Lots and lots of sugar. Was this world trying to give him a heart attack?!

But, for real? Really, how where cookies going to help him reach the key? Especially pink rainbow shaped ones...covered in sugar.

He sighed, grabbing a pink bunny cookie. He stuffed the cookie into his mouth, frowning at the sickeningly sweet taste. Then, just as suddenly as the potion, he felt himself grow, growing until his head hit the ceiling.

He had forgotten the warning on the box. Instead of taking one bite, he had eaten the whole cookie. He could barely see the table, let alone the key. He started to cry in frustration.

Now, Severus Snape wasn't one to cry....and these weren't really tears, this was the sweat coming from his eyes. Yup, that's what he kept telling himself as they cascaded down his face. He was so preoccupied with this; he hadn't realized that the floor was flooding with his 'eyeball sweat' as he called it.

Then he remembered. He had the potion in his pocket, or what was left of it, anyway. He pulled it out, and downed the whole thing in a gulp.

Then he was falling through the air. The vial landed with a 'Plunk!' In the water, and he landed in the vial with dead-on aim.

The vial was heading through the keyhole, and as he was pushed through with wave of his own salty tears, he wondered what was going to happen next.


End file.
